I consider myself an independent free spirit, but I never really had the words to describe how I felt. I recently read a powerful article that found those words:
"I want freedom. I want depth. I want to live a intensely and authentically as I can. Happiness won't cut it for me. I want the whirling gusts of wind to whip around my hair, tasting my cheap cherry-lemon shampoo in my mouth as I run wild through sea-like fields of tall, blonde grass. I want to feel the warm sun embrace me, growing hotter and hotter until I pour its sweaty kisses from my forehead. I want to lay alone in the dirt, feeling the earth beneath me, leaves in my hair, crunchy pieces of mushy ground in my hands, getting under my nails. I want to dance under the winking, twinkling stars, my body moving at dangerous speeds. I want to drive fast as a falcon, blasting Lana del Rey and screaming to Dark Paradise. I want to shriek, sob, and shout when I'm angry, sad, jealous, vulnerable, in pain. I want to live fiercely, wildly, passionately, and as freely as possible. I want to feverishly question everything, never satisfying my desperate thirst for knowledge. I want to to be unapologetically me, cursing real filthy sometimes, but never, ever, editing myself to please you. I want to listen to my feminine wisdom, my intuition, my gut; never taking lightly my opinion, needs or desires. Happiness is not enough. I want to smile and I want to taste that joy but it won't define me. Or drive me. It's not enough. I want freedom. I want to feel everything. I want the pain, the joy, the disappointment, the jealously, the hatred, the euphoria, the sadness, the grief and everything in between. I want it all. Oh, sweet freedom, link your arm in mine and let's frolic forever under magical moonlight in mysterious open fields. Let's not settle for happiness. It's not enough. Happiness doesn't make my soul soar, my spirit ignite, my insides buzz with electricity. I will scream and live and die for freedom. I will never settle for happiness. I want and need and desire and thirst for freedom. Feel that delicious word on your tongue and taste it. Its soars. Now, I soar - into the fiercest, fastest wings, feeling more alive than ever."
This past weekend I experienced some LSU tailgating, which of course just made me miss VT tailgating, and just made me feel like I was in undergrad again. Luckily I didn't end up going to the game; it got rained out.
I actually had Labor day off! I haven't had a US holiday off in 3 years; I almost didn't know what to do with myself....oh wait yes I did....study and watch VT football (although we did lose Ohio State).
In honor of the start of football season, you are currently hearing the best college football entrance song with a pretty fantastic background to this blog as well!
Shout out to my Rossies' still on the island since the started their next semester this week.
This week I started my internal medicine rotation. I'm enjoying the wide variety of cases I've seen so far such as pancytopenia, IMHA, vestibular disease, intervertbral disc disease, and a ranula. It's long hours and demanding, but the interns, residents, and clinicians have been helpful so far which makes it easy to feel comfortable around them.
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